squareclocks:

kushroom:

so you’re saying I can win 5 iphones every day??? and all I have to do is give my credit card number on this website I’ve never heard about??? well slam me in my tender butthole sir you’ve just got yourself a deal

Slam me in my tender butthole 

I think I’ve just found my new favorite phrase. 

corpsifiedandgross:

bondoge:

is shut the fuck up an acceptable answer for an algebra problem

Only if you show your work

sodamnrelatable:

omg my mom just came into my room and told me that I’m spending too much time on the internet so she told me “I’m sorry I have to do this but its for your own good…” and then she proceeded to delete the internet explorer icon from my desktop I’m laughing so hard I’m gonna pee myself omfg 

sodamnrelatable:

Serving Size: 4?

More like serving size 4 me!